One of the most difficult things about becoming a single parent for me was the need to go back to work. I had worked hard pre-kids to make a career for myself, I was on my way to Assistant Vice President of Marketing for a Financial Services company when I decided it was time to leave the workforce and stay at home fulltime. My daughter was 3 years old and my son wasn't quite 1 yet.
I think most stay at home moms will tell you it is the hardest job they have ever undertaken... going from corporate dinners and deadlines to playdates and nap schedules. But is also rewarding and precious. That time with your children can drive you crazy and make you count your blessings all at the same time.
Unfortunately, my time as a stay at home mom came to an end long before I was ready for it to. Once the divorce was inevitable, I found myself looking for a job with dread and a feeling of self-depreciation. I didn't feel like I had anything left to offer the corporate world after taking a few years off and relaxing my carefully honed marketing skills. Who would want to hire someone with a huge gap in their resume? Would I be able to pick up where I left off, or was I facing the uphill battle that I had right out of college, all over again?
Suprisingly, going back to work was very much like getting back on a bike after not riding for years. Unsteady at first, a little wobbly, but then feeling the sense of freedom and accomplishment when you realize that you still have what it takes and you can just let go and enjoy the ride.
1. Sit down and talk to the kids about it. This isn't only a HUGE change for you, it will be for them too. Be enthusiastic... talk about all the great friends they will meet at the childcare facility you chose. Explain that the weekends will be your special time together and make a list of all the weekend activities you want to do - to give everyone something to look forward to. (Some fun links for family-friendly activities in DFW: About.com, Fun things to do in Texas, Nick's Parent Connect Find It, Associated Content on Dallas, Visit Dallas.com, Tour Texas.com, Uptake.com, Daily Candy for Dallas.)
2. Research your career field for industry news and changes. No matter how long you have been out of the workforce, there most likely have been changes that you need to be aware of. Do some research and study industry trends. The added information will be helpful in not only searching for a job, but when you are in your interviews. You might even find that the industry you were in wasn't a good fit for you and you are ready to consider a career change. This is the perfect time. The more prepared you are, the more confident you will feel. (Monster, Careerbuilder, Jobing.com - some of the most well-respected career sites online).
3. Network. Polish up that resume and send it to everyone you know. Call the University that you got your degree from. Most alums have free resources at the career centers of their alma mater. Utilize websites like LinkedIn and Facebook to connect with old collegues and friends in your industry.
4. Set up a schedule. Most likely you will be working an 8 to 5 workweek. Even before you start that new job, set up a schedule at home to get everyone use to it. Get up early and get everyone ready for the day, make bedtime ealier too, with a routine that includes the same steps each night. Be sure to delegate age appropriate chores to each child. Even a younger child can put away the silverware from the dishwasher or fold wash rags from the laundry. And in the midst of scheduling everything, be sure to set aside some time each evening to just spend with your children, sharing their day and playing or working on a project. They will need your attention more than ever once you are working full time to help them feel secure and confident in this new world. If you have to, write the schedule and chores on a large poster board and put in the kitchen where everyone can see it. (Family schedule templates can be found here: Paauwerfully Organized and About.com)
5. Set your expectations and communicate them to your employer. Be realistic and know that you won't be able to attend EVERY school function or have a perfectly organized and clean home. There will be activities that are missed and clutter that accumulates. Adjust your expectations to be able to deal with these changes. When you go into your new employer, make a list of the things you cannot be flexible on for them (i.e. a child's illness, the school christmas program, annual family reunion in July, being home at a certain time in the evenings), then your employer will feel like you are up-front, organized and dedicated to your responbilities - just the kind of employee they want. (See this great article on What Employer's Want).
Going from staying at home to working full time will be an adjustment for everyone, but don't let it discourage you. There are a lot of positives to working, focus on them (lunch with adults each day, a sense of accomplishment that work can bring, disposible income to do more activities with your children on the weekends, etc) and don't look back on your time at home with regret or longing. Be happy that you had that time and experience and be excited about the new chapter in your life and all the new experiences it will bring.
This article was cross-posted from Examiner.com.
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